The Baby Primary

Came across this adorable interview on APM's Weekend America (and accompanying article on Slate.com) of New Hampshire resident Darren Garnick's attempt to get his 5-month-old daughter, Dahlia, photographed with every Presidential candidate visiting his home state during the primary earlier this month.

This little gal might be the Punxsutawney Phil of the Presidential race. Her reactions are very telling:

"The baby is only 7 weeks old at this point, and Obama notices. 'Ooooh, a new one!' he exclaims with an enthusiasm that seems genuine. I hand Dahlia across the yellow police tape and remember that Obama has two young daughters. He knows what he's doing."


"Rudy declares that 'Dahlia is a real doll,' and within seconds she starts to squirm and screech in his arms. I ask for one more photo, but Rudy's done. He's panicky. He obviously doesn't want the crying baby to become a metaphor for the world he is about to take over."


"Dahlia is extremely comfortable in Sen. McCain's arms and stares up at him in adoration. For two seconds. Following the same pattern as her meeting with Giuliani, Dahlia starts to cry. McCain is unfazed, however. 'There goes another vote!' he jokes."


"...she does have some of the nicest, warmest volunteers. One guy even offered his sport jacket as an extra blanket for the baby. Dahlia was already cozy in her fleece coat, but this is the kind of chivalry missing from the Giuliani camp. During a pleasant exchange with Hillary from across the Secret Service barricades, I notice that the baby's tush is slightly damp. The fact that Hillary doesn't mention it suggests that she's either diplomatic or has no control over her senses. I hope she uses Purell."


"Mitt foolishly declares he can't tell if Dahlia's a boy or a girl. I agree that her bald head might throw you off the gender trail, but would any self-respecting dad put his boy in socks like [those]? Upon verification of her Double-X chromosomes, Mitt declares she's a 'sweetie.' I can't tell if Dahlia is charmed or not, but I don't have the heart to tell her that Romney says that to all the 5-month-old girls."


"Before melodramatically telling the audience that he used to live in a car, Kucinich seemed flattered to pose for a picture. Even though I'm personally right-of-center, consider me a reluctant fan."

I love McCain's reaction...nice quick comeback to Dahlia's crying, and the look on his face is priceless. Giuliani could possibly be Satan himself, so kudos to the baby for her terrific gut instincts. Speaking of Satan, Mitt Romney's plastic face scares the crap out of me; I'm surprised Dahlia didn't mistake it for a teething toy. Hillary looks natural, of course, and the baby looks calmed by seeing a woman's face (you know, politics aside, you do have to admit that for 60, Hillary's really not all that bad looking. I know there are goofy pictures of her floating around the internet, but most of us would consider ourselves lucky to age as well as she has.) Kucinich's smile is cute...perhaps he should spend his new-found free time making babies with his hot mama of a wife.

But Barack, oh, Barack! Look at how beautifully he cradles that baby in his arms! Even though Dahlia's father, the author of the article, claims to be Republican, how can you not be completely swooned by that?? I'm in love.

Anyway, I couldn't find much historic info as to where the whole "politician kisses baby" thing comes from, except for the obvious answer that it shows a sensitive side to the potential leader and assures us that they care about the future generation. According to Wikipedia, it originated during the Jacksonian democracy.

Whatever the case, I'll hold faith in a toddler before I'll ever hold faith in a politician.