The Groucho Letters

The best thing to happen to me in the last 24 hours was coming home to a lovely little Valentine's package in the mail from my, well, valentine. In it were many wonderful things, including the book, THE GROUCHO LETTERS. I first heard about this book from my friend Jackie's blog, A Felid Influence, and have fantasized about thumbing its pages ever since. Now that I've got my own copy I can whole-heartedly exclaim that it is indeed the best bound ink and paper I've come across in a long time. There are so many excerpts worth sharing; here's just two of the many:

To his son, Arthur...

...We received your wire at eight Thursday morning and read that you were in a hotel at Seabright, swollen up with mumps...According to your wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is beautiful and that she has red hair. I don't know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair. Red hair makes a man want to recover his health quickly, so that he can get on his feet and the nurse off hers.

Love,
Padre

Dear Katie and Arthur:

Your announcement that your daughter Jane is marrying an obscure quack named Heimlich on June 3rd saddened me considerably. I've had my eye on Jane for a long time and always hoped that some day you would wind up as my in-laws. Well, she made her choice--one that, I believe, she will ultimately regret. With me, each day would have been 24 hours of gaiety and laughter; with Heimlich she will have a life of viruses, vaccines, surgical instruments and rubber gloves. Only time can decide whether she made the right decision. Even though I am a bitter, disappointed and disillusioned man I send them both my heartiest congratulations.

Best,

Groucho

So while I'm off to enjoy the rest of this wonderful book, here's an even more wonderful clip of Groucho and the rest of the crew in The Cocoanuts: